Vol 0 | Issue 1
I have been trying your line for sometime and no answer. I have a huge problem. I was just wondering if you could give me the presidential suite when I reach heaven. I certainly have lots of luggage and I need about 200 hangers for my Armani suit, Guess T's, Levi jeans, enough space for my Nike takkies, 28 karat gold and diamond chains, my five wigs and six pairs of dentures.
I did have a problem with the coffin maker as he said, ‘One size fits all’; but I threw in another $100 behind the boss's back and he agreed to add more wood and increase the size to accommodate my goods. He even said (with a grin) that he would throw in special features such as satin, velvet and surround sound in my coffin. He added that for $200 more I could get a coffin in the shape of a Porsche, cool hey!
I have also bought a Garmin GPS navigator because the guy at the shop said that it is the best make to try to find my way to heaven. Oh and one more thing God, please ensure that I have French Mineral Water as it adds to the glow of my skin. I need to look radiant in heaven; I mean, with all those angels there and their silvery wings I certainly would look drab. Can I also bring my Botox? I am not sure if I would age faster in heaven.
Ok. Let me try the line again...it’s ringing...beep...beep..(to the guy who answers) Hello..Yes...I'm calling from Earth..Have you received my fax?...Ok...Don't forget my presidential suite overlooking the pool...Oh thank you so very much, Sir. That's rather sweet of you...please provide your GPS co-ordinates...ok...let me write it down..360NSE latitude 360 NNW longitude...Towers of H.E.L.L... Oooops..Sorry...I think I got the wrong number...
It certainly takes another route to reach the doors of God above. Love, devotion, prayer and simple humanitarian efforts to others (ie) do good, be good, think of the suffering; all these actions are more important for upliftment of one’s character and soul.
Dr Nirvadha Singh - MBChB (MEDUNSA) MMed Public Health Medicine (UKZN) - is a South Africa based trained, practicing physician